Had to grab a Kleenex!

So our little guy starts Kindergarten tomorrow. I'm not too sure how I feel about that yet. But I'm going to take some tissue to be safe.

I did need some tissue, though, on Monday. We had an appointment for his screening test at 8am. We were there early because we had to drop off big brother. So we went to the office and asked where we needed to go for his test. Mrs. *'s room they say. Uh-oh! My mind starts whirling. That was not the name I wanted to hear. Long story....but this was the one teacher that I did not have good feelings about. Typically, the teacher that does the testing is the one they will have for the year....although, they don't tell you that. They test the kids and then say you'll find out who your teacher is at orientation. How in the world were we going to make it through the whole year with this teacher??

So, my heart had a lot of ugliness in it. I don't know about any of you......but when it comes to my kids....it seems like somehow the protective mom thing comes to the surface much more quickly than rational thought....which translates many times into the ugly-heart syndrome.

I was lost in all the ugliness when the little guy says, "Mrs. *. She has a funny name, mom."

Uh-oh. Now I've got to guide him with the right response. The appropriate thing. The Godly answer.

"Honey, we can't talk about Mrs. * like that. We have to be nice. Please don't make fun of her name, okay? God wants us to be nice to everybody and treat them the way we want to be treated. You would get your feelings hurt if someone made fun of your name, wouldn't you?"

I think "I'm terrible!" A hypocrit! How could I just say that to him when I'm hiding all of this ugliness???

So we sit down and I'm looking at paperwork in our folder and suddenly realize I forgot his birth certificate. Back to the van we go and head back home. All the while I'm entertaining these icky thoughts....these poor, pitiful us thoughts.

And then God whispered to me. And I heard Him. And I started praying.

Not for me. And not for the little guy.

I started praying for Mrs. *. All the way back to school I prayed. I asked for patience for her. I asked for blessing on her family. I asked for her to have a genuine love for her class...and that the kids would feel her love even when she needed to discipline. I prayed that no one would make fun of her name. I just spent the next 10 minutes or so asking the Father to be with her.....and to forgive me for my wayward heart.

And we get to school....walk down the hall....and enter her room. She looks up in surprise. She's not doing any testing this morning, she says. She looks on the list and sends us next door for our testing......which went extremely well, by the way. It is as Dad and I thought.....he's brilliant as confirmed by his significantly above-average scores.

You would think based on the above-described ugliness that I would have been a hootin' and a hollerin' inside over this turn of events. But I wasn't. I can't say I wasn't glad, but I wasn't overly ecstatic either. That 10-minute talk with God had given me a peace that if He meant for us to be in her class, everyone involved would be just fine over the next 9 months.

So we went to orientation last night. And the teacher who did our testing will be the teacher we spend the next 9 months with. We're pretty excited about that today. My nephew had her last year and they just loved her to pieces.

But the lesson here (for me, anyway) is about God's grace and His goodness...in spite of me. He knew my heart...the ugly part and the desires for my little boy to have a great first year in school. Would it have turned out this way if I hadn't recognized the problem...heard His voice...prayed that prayer? Only God knows the answer to that. But I'm truly so thankful to Him for where He placed us.

And I'm more aware than ever of Mrs. *. Even though she's not our teacher, her classroom is next door to ours. And I'm going to make every effort this year to pray for and minister to her as much as I can.