Earthen Vessels

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Do you ever just get weary? Have those days where you just want to retreat to a bubble bath and get lost in a book while you soak? I'm there. I haven't had a ton of break down kind of days in our time here, but there have been enough. This week has been one of those weeks. There's been nothing especially bad or different this week than any other week we've had here. It's just been a week where I haven't coped well.

I'm not sleeping because the temperatures aren't getting much below 90 degrees...even through the night. Even the water beds and fans aren't helping at this point in the season. Those who know me know I don't do well when I don't get sleep, let alone no sleep because of raging heat and humidity all 24 hours of the day.

The smallest of obstacles are putting me over the edge under these conditions. I don't have an appetite and don't even really want to cook for my family who does have an appetite because cooking makes the kitchen temp run around 105 by the time dinner is done.....and really....who can eat when it's 105? I'm doing good to fight off nausea at that point. Literally.

Though we don't have electricity, we are SO blessed to have solar energy for lights and the computer and a generator to pump water from the well. But because of the gas shortage, they put a law into effect that gas stations are not allowed to fill containers with gasoline. So Rick has to go to the mayor's office to get a signed letter giving the station permission to give us 40 liters of gas. Then he has to go get the letter copied to leave with the station. Then go to a specific station to get the gas. All so we can run the generator to pump water. And he has to do this EVERY time we need gas.

Frustrated. Needless to say, this week has left me asking the question "What in the world am I doing here?".

Before you feel too bad for all of that negativity I just dumped out, let me move on to the positive part of this post.

We were meeting with our translator group yesterday and I had opened up my Bible to look for a specific verse. God knew I needed a different verse and lead me to 2 Corinthians 1:9. Now, mind you, all of my lamenting has been nowhere close to me feeling like we have received a death sentence.....far from it, in fact. I can actually name at least as many blessings as there have been struggles in our life here. I wouldn't trade these last two years for anything.

But the second part of that verse jumped out at me. I've had to fully rely on God these two years. We have nowhere to retreat here when we get weary. There's nothing fun to do or see, no air conditioned stores to go walk around window shopping. The only thing I have to retreat to is God's Word.

But we're supposed to do that anyway, right? Yeah, well, until we moved here, I could always find other ways to retreat. That's not saying I neglected time in God's word. I didn't completely. But I sure didn't NEED it the way I need it here. And the more struggles I face, the more I need. And the more I need, the more I find I want of it.

Whatever struggles we endure are only helping me to better empathize with the struggles of the people around me. No matter how tough things get for us, it will never compare to the struggles of our friends here. Ever.

The struggles also remind me of all I have to be thankful for....at the forefront of which is the hope and assurance I have in Christ Jesus. The gospel of the glory of Christ is a precious gift. And it's mine....to treasure and to share. What a privilege that is!

2 Corinthians 4 begins with a verse that says we have this ministry by the mercy of God and because of that we do not lose heart. Paul goes on to explain that this gift we have is veiled to those who are perishing. There are literally millions of them surrounding us. We are here by God's mercy, not to proclaim anything about ourselves, but because He "made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ." By God's perfect design, THAT treasure has been placed in weak, moaning, decaying, earthen vessels...jars of clay...so that it might be seen that God's power, not ours, is what sustains us as we are exposed to various trials.

Once again reminded it is not by any strength I possess, but only by the power of Jesus at work in my life. Oh, Father, that those around me might only see the light of the glory of Jesus through the big ole' cracks in this vessel you've chosen.

Be blessed today as you go out into your part of the world and let that Light shine brightly through your cracks!!!

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18